....and me not getting to, i have decided that these are the plays that i want to go to in the next 8 months lol...

March.... WICKED. yeah, that's right, tyler and i decided that we are going on my birthday!

April: Grease! Ok, I am sorry, but i totally want to see Grease. I LOVE IT

June: This is my favorite.... RENT. I saw it when i was a sophomore in high school and I totally have to see it again.

So that is all that Keller Aud. has announced yet, but i am so going to ALL of those. Anyone else want to atttttend with me?

I tried. I really did. I thought things were going good. I thought I was over it.
















I think I am still in love with my best friend. Like a lot still in love with my best friend.














The more that we talk and hang out and.... everything.... i fall a little more.

























fuck.

OMFG.

ok, so i have been having little minor heart attacks about every 20 minutes or so for the last few days because Ryan (and brandon too) is living RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of all of the fires that are going on right now in California. And come on, if you haven't heard about these fires, please do me a favor and crawl out from under that rock you are living under.

ANYWAY! Two weeks ago, he transfered out the area that is basically 100 gone, and I couldn't remember that until about, oh, last night, when I called his mom and was like, "wait, he transfered out of there, right???" but I guess the apartment complex that he was living in is basically just ashes right now. And where he is living now? Its on the very edge of the Rice Fire. Which happens to be the one that Brandon is working on right now, since they ran out of firefighters and this fire is basically along the base....

When there was no email from Ryan last night, his mom and I were basically freaking out. I was glued to the news, trying to find out ANYTHING, while his mom called the mission presidents, etc.

Then I just checked my email and YAY!!!! Ryan got to a computer and emailed this whole huge thing about what is going on, etc etc, where he is, that he is safe, what he is doing to help and I have to be honest, I almost broke down and cried right here. But i am at school and I am in the middle of the LRC and that would have been crazy weird. Instead, I am relieved beyond belief about Ryan.

Now I just have to know that Brandon is ok and i will be able to breathe again.....


whew.

101 days til mexico. that seems like a lot. but the way the months have been FLYING past, its really not. And i'm hella excited.

its been a long freaking time since i have posted in this thing. its not for lack of things to say, trust me. mostly, its just because i am so fucking busy lately. ridiculously so. its gross really.

on the plus side, i finally got my tattoo on my foot. it looks good. well, minus the fact that its all scabbed and kinda gross right now. but at least its healing fast? i dunno. i will post pictures, but all i have right now are ones on my cell phone and those are tiny. once i take some with my real camera, i will be able to post them.

i want to take a vacation. badly. and i don't just mean from work and school. i want to take a vacation that involves flying and staying in a hotel and being not in the states of washington or oregon. and i want it now.

and now i have to go get ready for work. great. especially since i have to work with jessica. its pretty much just me and jessica and that makes me want to slit my throat.

+That it has been 442 days since I have heard my best friend's voice.

+That I have 288 days left until I can hear it again.

+That I miss his voice more than anything.

Since it is 1:31am, it is technically the 8th of february. That means that today is the one year anniversary of the day that Ryan left. Its been a year. Too bad it feels like 5. ok, I lied a little bit. some days, it doesn;t feel like he's been gone that long. Other days, I sometimes feel like I will die if i have to go ANOTHER year without talking to him on the phone or seeing him in person. Its hell. I grab the phone STILL sometimes and go to dial him. I had to take him off "speed dial" for that reason. lame. I miss my best friend. more than freaking anything. can he come home now??? pleeeeeeeeeeeease?????

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.... I am so bored.... I am avoiding my paper, since I got an extension on it.... hell ya for me getting an extension....

Its been a long time since I updated this thing... i don't know why... i have been writing in my "ryan" journal a lot, i think that is why I have been avoiding this one. my "ryan" journal is like a day to day run down of all the crap going on in my life that Ryan gets to read when he is finally home. Did I mention that that will be happening in 14 months? Do you know how freaking excited I am about that? THRILLED. Go figure that I am thrilled and I still have over a year. Do you know what i am NOT thrilled about??? Brandon resigning for 4 more years. Honestly, for someone who bitched and moaned about how much he hated the marine corp, he sure reinlisted fast. He was supposed to be home on january 1. But no. He has signed his ass up for 4 more years of hell, one of which will be served in iraq. fucking retard.

I have been thinking about quitting at the theatre. I really don't like working there lately. I mean, there are days where things are great, and there are mostly days where things are awful. There are just some managers that I cannot stand to work with. Honestly, its like I would rather be pulling all of my fingernails off one by one than work with these people. They have all gotten so lazy and obnoxious. Its really hard to make myself go to work every day. I used to love it. And now I dread it. Again, not EVERY shift is awful, but between the stupid, obnoxious customers and most of my co-workers, I am getting so sick of it all. But that seems to be my pattern, huh? Two years in a place and I am sick of everything and wanting to move on. I thought that I was wanting to move on at old navy because I was getting no respect. I think that it is worse at the theatre. I am an associate manager and I think that i am getting even less respect than I was as floor staff. Not from the employees, but from some of the managers. Its really getting on my nerves and I want to just be like, "god, you aren't better than me, so get the hell over yourself...." but no, I am nice and I just ignore everything and pretend there are no problems. lovely. And that in turn makes me never want to be there. It makes me want to just walk out.

Like on saturday night. if you got yelled at by someone who is technically your equal, and I mean, YELLED at, with accusations flying, and then later found out that they apologized to the other person they were yelling at but not you, would you feel hurt? maybe a little pissed? Oh believe me, I am. But I have resigned myself to admit that is person is not my friend. Never has been. I gave this person an awesome christmas present and I wish more than anything that I could just be like, "um, yeah, I made a mistake, I want it back, kthanks".... what a fucking waste of time and money. LAME. so all I have to say is FUCK YOU.

Ok, I am done bitching, sorry everyone! I love you all! Happy New Year... I hope the year is better than it has started out.... gah.

NEW ICONS!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOTS OF THEM! go see ALL of them, they are greeeeat!

Do it, do it, do it! Just do it! I promise it will be good! I am excited, even if it doesn;t mean anything final yet!

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/9165274.html

New icon!!!!!!!!!! Yay team brooke! (even if i do hate the name brooke! You know why, laura!!!)

I also have this one!


\



I love ANTM.

so my ankle hurts. bad. why, you might ask? because i had physical therapy for an hour and a half today. do you know what it feels like to go through the "4 stages of icing" while 135 volts of electricity are flowing through four spots on said ankle? before you contemplate that, recall that while the final stage of icing might be "numb" the others all involve pain or burning or something to that nature. HOLY SHIT. It hurts. bad. But i have to just "grin and bear it" for 25 minutes. Then I have to do these stupid ass wall exercises for my heel, which is starting to injure because of all the compensating I have been doing with it. yeah. fuck that. Then I advanced from the red stretchy band to the green, which has tighter resistance and I even got to take a blue one home for when I advance further. um, right. my ankle is fucking killing me after using the green one. Ok, ok, I know it will get easier, but tell that to the thing that is attached to my left leg at the bottom and is throbbing and has been since 12pm this afternoon. gah. I think that worst part was that after ALLLLLLL that, we had to tape my ankle. Because for the ligament that I have torn, no jerkoff doctor has created a brace for it at this point in time... lovely. So instead, I have to use this white tape that has wreaked havoc on my skin and then this other tape on top of that that requires that I squeeze my ankle bones together. um, holy shit. it feels so weird (and kinda hurts) to squeeze my own bones together. god. I just wish this shit would heal and I could be back to normal.

i watched the season premiere of ANTM tonight. There are some girls that I definitely don't like already. yeesh.

i have to work tomorrow night, and I am kinda bummed, because i have to miss the premiere of Grey's Anatomy. Shut the fuck up, i LOVE that show. But mostly, I don't want to work with Ali tomorrow. I don't know why. Mostly, i think its because I am used to working with other managers and i feel like I am always doing something wrong when I am working with Ali. oh well, I guess. I have to do it on saturday, allllll day with her. gah.

i think that is it for now. I am done ranting or whatever. I just want to say that I MISS RYAN. bad. i wish I could have a "one phone call free" card. Just a 20 minute phone call. I sent his birthday present/package out today. I hope he loves it.

later y'all

Amber

Ok, so this article was in the columbian on friday, august 25th... it was on the front page, first story of the day.... which I love.

The FDA has granted Barr Pharmaceuticals the approval to sell the morning-after pill to women over 18 WITHOUT a perscription. There are currently nine states in the US where Plan B is available without perscription. I am happy to say that Washington is one of them.... now, ok, obviously, the article had comments from both supporters and opponents of Plan B. I have two major issues with some of the comments made by the opponents.....

issue #1:
"We are very, very concerned about the health impacts on women who will be getting this drug without a doctor's guidance," said William Beckman, executive director of the Illinois Right to Life Committee.

Now does anyone who knows me have ANY idea why that general comment would just PISS ME OFF? Its what the guy actually said, its that A GUY SAID IT. Honestly, I don't know how many times I am going to have to say this.... when a guy can conceive a child and carry it and nurture it with his body until it is ready to survive on its own, he needs to SHUT THE FUCK UP. He should not serve or be the executive on ANY right to life committee or anything like that. I am not saying that i would ever get an abortion, I just don't want some GUY campaigning for me to not even HAVE the CHOICE about something that is concerning my body! yeah, did all of you asshole guys get that??? MY. MOTHERFUCKING. GODDAMNED. BODY. not yours! so shut up!

Issue #2:
Carrie Gordon Earll, senior bioethics analyst at Focus on the Family, complained, "Over-the-counter status for Plan B--regardless of an age requirement--is an invitation for adult men to pressure underage girls to have sex with the promise of an easily accessible magic pill to prevent or abort a pregnancy."

Ok, I actually have two issues with this quote.... first off, the morning-after pill DOES NOT ABORT A PREGNANCY. honestly, people, read the goddamned facts!!! its science for crying out loud! You have to take the damn thing within 72 hours of unprotected sex. All it is is like, 3 doses of birth control. And if you ARE pregnant at the time that you take it, it doesn't do anything to ABORT the fetus. god! I just want to scream! does Plan B PREVENT pregnancy? YES! Abort? NO!

my second issue with this quote is that the dumb bitch automatically assumes that old men are going to seduce teenage girls. Um, hi, if your teenage daughter is stupid enough to sleep with a dirty old man then you have bigger problems than her getting a morning-after dosage. you might need to talk to your daughter about her not being such a skank. And if your dumb skanky daughter DOES sleep with this dirty old man, let's hope the dumb bitch remembers to tell the old bastard to use a condom so she doesn't get some skanky STD.

I do like that the article printed that Plan B helped to prevent an estimated 100,000 unintended pregnancies and prevents over 51,000 abortions each year. For all those dumb people who want to take away our "right to choose", they claim that abortions are inhumane and awful and blah, blah, blah.... so shut the fuck up about Plan B, ok? JUST SHUT UP.


ok, i am done... wow, think about how much that would have been if I would have just typed something that long for my tons of papers that I have to have done by morning. oh well. I needed a distraction.

Ok everyone, I need your help!!!! I have it narrowed to two designs, but I can't decide between the two... so I want to know what you guys think.... if you can't decide between the two, help me think of a place that I can put both... one is going on my left foot.... the other can go somewhere else, but I want some advice as to what you think will look good!!! so...........( time for the awesome pictures )

What do you guys think of these???

( Clicky )

MORE PAMPERING!!!!!!!!!!!


manicure this morning and I just got home from having my hair cut.....


i know, I know, but I SWEAR TO GOD, that is the last thing!!!!!!


besides, it felt amazing and my hair looks cute.


:-)

So I stayed up until like, 5am this morning, then went to bed and slept until 8:30am, which was not really what I had planned, but that's ok, because it felt good. I had an eyebrow appointment today and decided to tan while I was there. I am working on making my tan from texas even better. :-) Needless to say, i basically did nothing today. I got home from my relaxing and FINALLY unpacked everything that was left in my bags from my trip, then I cleaned my ENTIRE ROOM. You can actually see my closet floor now. do you know how much of an accomplishment that is for me???? Ok, so I had to do 4 loads of laundry and had to go buy 30 more hangers, but DAMN. It looks good. I also purchased matt's graduation gift, cards for him, tyler and tina and some cute little things for my puppy. Oh. and two pairs of shoes. yes, I know, but THEY WERE ON SALE!!!!!!!! And they are just so SUPER CUTE! so shut up.
I have puff paint all over my hands because I was working on part of matt's graduation gift and now I am not sure that I like the part I added tonight. if I don't like it, I don't know that I will be able to give it to him. ugh. I hate that when I am feeling creative, I also still have to be a perfectionist. Oh well, I guess.

manicure in the morning. yessssssssssssss.

so excited.

love love love love pampering!

I can't sleep. booo. I am watching Keith Urban. Hot.

I am getting tan.

well, ok, I am a little bit burnt.

oops.

but it will turn into a HOT tan.... that will last a LONG time... yay

Besides getting groceries tomorrow, I plan on doing nothing but sitting around and in the pool.

I will move from the lovely lounge chair to the lovely raft in the pool.

did I mention that I would rather not come home?

yeah, i def don't miss the rain.

:-)

but I miss all of you!

♥